We have been raised in an environmental system that rewards us with prestige and social status if we go with the flow. Living our lives according to the “accepted” social thinking and values is proof enough that “we’ve been had”. But, that statement will not get the job done – will it? Just stop and contemplate the things we believe and understand as the truth and how we’ve been brought to this point, in time, in our lives.
How have we been “guided”? Where have we been guided to? Why are we here? Education, the media and religion – all have had – and have – their influence upon us. Yes? Of course!
So we find ourselves, fresh out of high school, full of life and wanting to “make it” and experience the American Dream.
We can then get into the best schools of higher learning. So, we work hard and make money with our chosen career while knowing that success and fortune will follow – at least that’s what we’re taught to believe.
I’ll bet that we’re on the same page, so far.
In order to earn these benefits, we have to be right and don’t step out of line – ever. We cannot be “wrong”. Our opinion – what we have learned – is, by far, the strongest asset we possess.
If the information we hold as truth is incorrect (going against the norm – the flow) within the educational system, we receive an F – “F” for “FAILED”.
If we are a Failure, then that jeopardizes our money, our health, our livelihoods and the lives of those we care about.
And that results in shame.
Some people don’t have a tolerance for shame. (Did I say “some”? It’s “most”.)
Shame is an awful pain. The pain of shame will hang in there longer than any physical pain we may feel. This type of pain can become an emotional state that will take over our entire life – who we are as a person, our job and our relationships… all of it.
What is shame?
Shame is nothing more than what other people think about you… and me.
If no one ever had any negative opinions of you… or me, then we would never feel any shame.
So… who are the most important people we feel we must avoid being shamed by, at all costs?
“They” are.
“They said….”, “They say….” THEY who? (Why is it that most people have a VERY hard time believing that there is a possibility that : THEY” could be wrong? It’s ALWAYS important to know exactly who said what and KNOW the facts for ourselves. But it doesn’t work that way.)
Okay. So, who are you? And who are “THEY”?
Are you really an individual that is capable of having your own thoughts?
Or… are you a part of “THE FLOW”?
Some will say that people like me analyze things to death and get nowhere. I ask of those that make such a pathetic accusation, “Am I such a reminder to who YOU REALLY are that you will attempt to destroy the mirror in which you see yourself?”
I can lay all of the evidence out for you – ALL of it – but if you’re not ready to hear it, you will use all your talents, your abilities, your gifts and your faculties that you can put together to defend your position – one that you have chosen to accept as truth.
You will scramble (yes, it’s obvious to a few that that is what is going on – scrambling) to avoid shame by maintaining the beliefs, the teachings and hopes that you have admired. Presented with the possibility of shame, you pick up the shattered pieces, make use of faltering arguments that sound as smart as possible, and proudly strike down any offending thoughts that jeopardize what you have been taught and have chosen to believe as truth.
Way deep down, you know you are wrong, but the shame is much too great for you to even think about. You have too much at stake. There is too much to lose.
THEY will think you are a failure.
If THEY think you are a failure, then, you think you’re a failure and failure is not an option. If you let THAT guide you through your life’s endeavors then you are a part of THE FLOW and you have no critical thinking abilities like you’ve been taught to think that you have. You have been deeply deceived. (The possibility is great: You don’t believe what I just said and we’re probably not on the same page any longer.)
But, there is more. THEY have taught you exactly what lines not to cross. THEY have taught you what to think, how to think and when to think. THEY have taught you how to gain respect, fame and fortune. THEY have made you believe that this is what life is all about. THEY have reinforcements positioned in place that is in your favor. Anywhere you choose to look – it’s ALL for your benefit, IF, you go with THE FLOW. (Or, is it really “for YOUR benefit”?)
Care to think about it? Do you care to do some thinking for yourself? Yes? Good – you’re one of the few!
What if you could live your life and “look over” these people that try to make you feel ashamed? What if you could make your own decisions and not be hurt by anyone’s attempt to shame you?
Let your life be a light, pointing the way so that it’s obvious to all that you don’t manipulate or control others; that you really do care for others and what they have to say. Truly be one that is a listener. This can be done without accepting the deadly poison of shame. It can be done without delivering it (shame) to others.
You can have the true freedom to think for yourself and not be enslaved by those who attempt to publicly or privately make you ashamed of yourself.
It is time for your decision.
Ignore – you’ve decided. Put it off for later – you’ve decided. Attempt to out-smart what you’ve just read – you’ve decided.
Look, investigate and search – you’ve decided well.
Comments anyone?
Does anyone share?
Does anyone care?
G Freeman Shepherd
